Thursday, 22 January 2009

I'm not very good at coming up with titles!

God has been doing a lot of work in my heart recently about forgiveness. He reminded me how important it is to forgive others, notably through this song by Ian Smale but also from the Bible verse it corresponds to Luke 6 v 37:

For if you forgive me when they sin against you
Your heavenly Father will forgive you
But if you do not forgive men their sins
Your Father will not forgive your sins

Um pah pah um pah pah
Um pah pah um pah pah
Um pah pah pah um pah pah pah

I recently asked for forgiveness from someone who had already forgiven me, but still for all these years I held disappointment and bitterness towards myself about my behaviour. I have been able to forgive that person too, after all these years.
I think most importantly I have been able to forgive myself. I haven’t always been a good girl – lol – behaving how God wants us to – and more personally not following in God’s will for my life! Looking back I realise that I have done a lot of stupid things in my life that I am not at all proud of, and I often wonder what on earth possessed me to do such ‘silly’ things! Some of the things I have done felt to me like they were unforgiveable – this doesn’t mean that they were absolutely heinous crimes – it just means that I don’t find forgiving myself easy – but that is the reason Jesus came to Earth. Once again Ian Smale puts it so simply: (Kids songs are so simple – we can lean so much from them!)

Every time we confess our sins
He is faithful and just and forgives us
Jesus makes us clean inside
Jesus makes us clean inside
All the wrongs we could not hide
Have been made right when Jesus dies

You are kind and forgiving O Lord
Abounding in love to all who call

As far as the east is from the west
So far has he removed our sins from us

God has forgiven me and because of that I can forgive myself. I definitely feel like a ton of weight has been lifted off my shoulders – I feel lighter, and I feel much better for it. After all when Jesus was nailed to the cross and rose again it was to take our guilt and shame!

The weather has cooled down considerably these last few days – so much so – that I have been wearing a sweatshirt! It rained a little this morning. Nathanial loves the rain and every time it rains he says “I like the rain”. So I asked him today if he wanted to go out and play in the rain! He was very excited to do so! I kitted him out in his rain gear – I love the little one-piece waterproof rainsuit I found at the market – it cost 60p. What a bargain – in the UK something like that would cost between 20 and 30 quid, especially since it is a well known outdoors brand. He looked very cute in it! By the time he had it on – the rain had stopped, so he had fun splashing and jumping in the puddles.

Nathanial is back to his good old self! Yay! We just have the normal kid behaviour now! The usual not listening, disobeying and being cheeky. He is a sweet boy though, and when he says sorry I can tell that he genuinely means it. Toileting is back to normal! And he eats anything and everything and chats non-stop!

At mealtimes he always tells me that he likes something, he’ll say “I like it, Mmmm its yummy!” This particular day I had made curry, from a powder packet I bought with me from the UK called Bombay Potatoes – it wasn’t very good! I didn’t like it much. Nathanial took a mouthful and made a funny face or one of disgust – and said “Mmm Yummy!” Being a good sport he ate it all without one complaint. I asked him if he liked it and he said yes. So I told him that I hadn’t liked it! He said “Yucky” and made the same face!!! What a sweet boy!

We had a great ‘Christmas’ and Nathanial loved all of his presents! All hundreds of them! Thanks to everyone that brought him something!
He needed a little coaching to start with as the actual packet and paper were intriguing and exciting enough! Once he got the hang of it though there was no stopping him!
Although as I sit typing this at home, Nathanial has the Brio train track set out in front him, one of his Christmas presents, with some trains and seems to find the hair he has found on the floor more captivating and stimulating! Seriously, five minutes later and he is still playing with the hair!


miriam said...

that is a great extract love, im really happy for you !!!!!!

Amy said...

it was about time for an update isabelle! :)

glad to hear nathanial is doing so much better and that things are going better. what are your plans for the next few months/

Courtney said...

the pictures are great...he's getting so big!