Friday, 12 December 2008
its been a long time!
It has been a long time since I wrote anything substantial on this blog, but the last 2 - 3 months have been an absolute nightmare!
I can't write on here exactly what happened (if you want to know all the details you can email me!).
Too make a very long story very short - the school I was working at has now closed down, and so I am seeking alternative employment - which is not an easy thing to find in this country at all.
Returning to the UK is not an option as a visa for Nathanial was denied, unless I can get a job somewhere and return for a few weeks for a holiday!
It is difficult to understand the things I have been through knowing that having Nathanial is I believe God's will for his life and my life, but maybe God is teaching me to trust in him more, not to worry and to also stay focused on him.
I have taken to reading my bible a lot more than I ever have, and no longer find it difficult to read (well maybe some parts still are), but God is giving me a better understanding of His word. I am also doing some fantastic bible studies.
Nathanial is doing well. He had a pretty bad regression after 'the thing' happened. I was feeding him formula for a while as he was refusing to eat solid food. He also went through a stage of pooing in his pants again. He also had some very unkind behaviour towards me and many of his actions were carried out in order to hurt me or to 'make me sad'.
I have to admit that I did struggle with his behaviour and found it difficult to not correct his behaviour. I read many good books and had lots of good advice, but its like something in my heart had to change, I am glad that it did! He was feeding off of my negative reactions to his negative behaviour and instead of ignoring that behaviour and/or punishing him for that behaviour I had to learn to just to pretend it never happened and carry on as normal. It sounds silly but now when I say no to or tell him that its not good behaviour what he did, instead of getting angry and smearing poo everywhere for example, he now cries, and when he does that is my cue to get him to talk about how he is feeling and why Mummy said he couldn't do something.
Nathanial hasn't done anything in a while to intentionally make me sad or cross and his behaviour is definitely improving. Yay!
Nathanial absolutely loves singing, so twice a day we sit down for 1/2 hour and have a singing session! (yes - I sing too! not in tune, but I don't think he cares!). He remembers songs that he last sang 4 months ago and he remembers the words to a song that he only sang once! I am going to start doing some fun learning activities with him - he already can count to 15. He is so intelligent - I need to stimulate his brain more - and that will also stop some of the mischevious behaviour!
He also went through a stage of scratching his face, chest and bottom! That has almost nearly stopped. Thank goodness, I wont have to nickname him scar face after all!
I am excited about what the future holds for Nathanial and I. I do really wish that our near future could be in the UK though!
God has a plan - an awesome plan, and he will never forsake us, so I need to continue trusting in God for money/a job and whatever else that we need!