I said a simple prayer: " Help me God to discover you and your will as I read my Bible."
v4:"He may send you to the ends of the earth, but he will gather you and bring you back from there."
v9:"The Lord your God will make you successful in everything you do. You will have many children..."
v10-11:"But you must obey the Lord your God by keeping all his commands and rules that are written in this Book of the Teachings. You must return to the Lord your God with your whole being.This whole command I give you today is not hard for you; it is not beyond what you can do."
I know that there's a reason why I went to Uganda twice. I believe that God was leading me to Uganda - in order to lead me to Nathanial. Things don't just happen by accident - the choice I made wasn't random, I was being lead in the Holy Spirit to do God's will. Looking back to the first time I went to Uganda I never imagined that work would give me 6 months to return to Uganda at that very same orphanage - looking back to when all the plans were final for me to return to Uganda for 6 months I never imagined that I would be returning there one day to adopt! God works in mysterious ways - and although often we cant see a purpose in His plans - there always is one - it might not be obvious at first - you may have to wait a few days, weeks, months even years!
I am struggling to understand why God is sending me to Uganda for what seems like forever! However God is sending me to "the ends of the Earth" because he has an awesome plan for me and for Nathanial.
I am struggling to realise/understand how long I will have to be in Uganda - but I was also upset that it may be a very long time before I or my son set foot on British soil again, or before he meets his family and friends here that already love him! I feel strongly that I will be back in the UK before too long - and although right now that seems highly unrealistic and very optimistic - I am putting all my trust in Him and I believe that He will "bring me back from there".
God doesn't ask us to do anything that is too hard for us. It might seem to hard for us - but with Gods help "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (my favourite verse, don't know whereabouts it is in the bible though!)